Jack’s Bean: Kalamazoo’s Highly Rated Fake Restaurant

In the Doordash and Uber Eats age, food you don't need to make yourself is literally at your fingertips. Whether you're just too lazy to make a meal or you're getting back home after a night out and need something in your gut, a well-made meal will come to you.

If you live in Kalamazoo, you may have stumbled across a very well-reviewed restaurant in the form of Jack's Beans, praised for its variety of bean-centered dishes like "Beans" and "Beans", or it's signature dessert "Beans". If you read that and squinted a bit, you're probably realizing that Jack's Beans is not a real restaurant.

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Jack's Beans, is open 24 hours a day and features rooftop seating (according to its Google Reviews listing, at least). It is rated 4.6 stars with over 200 Google reviews, making this a stellar choice for a cold day.

READ MORE: Dumpster Water Grill: Michigan’s Fake Restaurant with 4.7 Stars |

However, as its slogan of "So good, it's unreal!" implies, there are no beans to be found. The joke quickly falls apart when you realize the listed address is a dorm room on Western Michigan University's campus. Whether Jack's Beans started as a joke or a student project Jack's Beans has been a running joke since 2021. It has been a hit around campus, too, with students sporting Jack's Beans merchandise.

Some of Jack's Beans glowing reviews include:

“Phenomenal service, great atmosphere, over all very enjoyable time. Would recommend to all of my family members even the terminally ill ones, except for grandma rip you.”

“The beans were just awesome. I thought this was a joke until I decided to try Jacks, I was pleasantly surprised at the quality and variety of beans. A new Kalamazoo staple!!”

 

“This has to exist solely for money laundering.”

I would be lying if I wasn't curious about the Alligator Style item, but ultimately Jack's Beans remains one of the most fun local jokes around. Shockingly, this isn't the only phantom restaurant making a killing on Google.

Michigan's Other "Real" Restaurant

Jack's Beans isn't Michigan's only prominent fake restaurant. Located in Marquette, Michigan, an unassuming red dumpster located at 136.5 W Washington St. has become the site of the Dumpster Water Grill, a 4.7-star dumpster restaurant. This is another COVID-era joke that has become a local landmark, though you could possibly get some food here if you're desperate.